User blog:Shacho/Zombie Survival Guide Blog

I came up with this out of pure imagination. Use this in any zombie infestation.

Prolouge
Hello there, fellow survivor. Zombie infestations are very annoying, and are freaky in some ways. Sometimes you might not know what your doing, panic, or maybe sacrifice another teammate against his/her own will. In fact, it could be YOU who is being left 4 dead. Free grenade if you get the refrence. Anyway, fear not. Here are every handy tips on surviving the zombie appocalypse, and info on all types of zombies you may encounter, and what weapons you can use and which are are best.

Chapter 1- Weapons
Weapons are always useful in zombie infestations. Without them, you'll die in a matter of seconds. No worries. Anyways, here are some weapons that are very handy.

Good Weapons
Those are some of the most useful weapons you can use, but you're probably wondering "Why aren't flamethrowers mentioned?" I'll tell you why.
 * Chainsaw: These are very useful for cutting off zombie's heads or other limbs. The only downside of them is that they have to be recharged, but you don't have to worry about that until it actually happens. When it does happen, uh...
 * Axe: Another useful weapon. It's a great melee weapon, and makes "THUNK!" noises when you hit something with it. You'll get used to the noise after a while. FACT: Did you know people use these to cut down trees?
 * Sniper: What else to say? You get to shoot things from a distance, that's what! It's just like gun! Except it's not. Okay, it's a type of gun for truth.
 * Pistol: A common weapon used in battle by soldiers, police, and guys trying to survive in a zombie infestation. It's very easy to use one, first you load it with some bullets, then pull the trigger! Wait, ohno! You're pointing it the wrong way! You're- oh dear.
 * Machine Gun: Who doesn't love these things?
 * Grenade: Pull, the pin, and throw the grenade, and watch zombies explode! But don't pull the grenade and throw the pin! Fred learned that the hard way.

Bad Weapons

 * Flamethrower: Why is it so? Sure, flamethrowers can be useful for some things, but NEVER use them against zombies. You'll just end up with a raving flaming zombie, and those are never good.
 * Nukes: Just kiddin! These should really be in the good section of this chapter! Ya, go blow up some zombies now, okay? Wait, you're really gonna do it? I was just kiddin about just kiddin! Wait, YOU'RE DROPPING IT OUTTA A PLANE?! YOU'LL KILL US ALL! YOU MANIAC-

Chaper 2- Vehicles
Who doesn't love vehicles? Tanks, planes, cars, cement trucks... Wait, CEMENT TRUCKS? Well, forget that thing about the cement trucks. Still, okay I can't think of anything else that's "WITTY" enough to say. Whatever.

Good Vehicles

 * Car: These are used by everyone. Okay, except for walking people. Those cursed walkers. They'll be sorry, THEY'LL BE SORRY! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, besides from that, cars are great. Also it's fun to run over peop- I mean, zombies.
 * Tanks: Okay, aren't you going to overboard with this things? Hey, you're using me as the ammo! This just like that time when you nearly killed us all with that nuke! SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * Planes: Okay, I'm WAAAAY to injured from that tank incident that I can't talk. QUE MY BROTHER! Oh wait, I don't have one. QUE FREEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh wait, he's a zombie. Wait, I'm better. Well, you already know enough about planes.

​Bad Vehicles

 * Cement Trucks: Why are these even listed here? Maybe because I can't think of anymore vehicles left to list? WHAT? These were mentioned before!

Chapter 3- Zombies
'MORE COMING SOON! MAYBE.' Shacho 23:50, January 9, 2012 (UTC)Shacho